"Every child deserves a home." --Harry Holt

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Grief Stages...

Yes, this is still my blog and it is mostly about our adoption/family life (we are adjusting pretty well, btw!) I sometimes talk about other family members, too, because they are such a huge part of my life, and they have molded me into the person that I am today (for better and for worse). 

So, this post is about some very special little family members. 11 months and 2 days ago, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law welcomed two miracle babies into the world. Kailey and Breley were born at exactly 24 weeks gestation. They were facing some pretty serious challenges at 1 lbs. 6 oz. and 12 inches long, each. We were thrilled to have 2 more nieces in the world, and we were scared. We were on our knees praying for their journey to be eased by the grace and power of God. HE performed. Today, Kailey is 11 months and 2 days old and she continues to grow, smile and kick challenge after challenge. Her very existence brightens my life, and reminds me that if she can fight so hard, I can too. Breley went to be with the Lord exactly 11 months ago. We miss her. Her sisters miss her, her parents miss her. That little miracle baby renewed my belief in miracles, as she fought for 2 days in *this* life against complications that the Dr.'s said adults wouldn't have been able to fight against. See? Miracle.

It was one of the hardest things to watch her mother, father and older sister say good-bye to her, and grow in the faith and strength as a family together. They definitely accomplished those things, but I wanted so badly for them to not have to endure it. We have all heard of the  grief stages: shock and denial; pain and guilt; anger/bargaining; depression/loneliness/reflection; reconstructing; acceptance. (If I am a little off on the stages, I'll write a formal letter of apology to my graduate school professors...). Essentially, the stages can be loosely interpreted, they don't look exactly the same for 2 people, there is no exact timeline. Well, in an effort to continue the healing process, Breley's parents have a vision. They have thrown themselves into working to help Children's Miracle Network raise money for families that endure a medical challenge. Their vision to celebrate the lives of their 2 youngest girls is to have family and friends participate in a 5k Walk/Run which raises $ for CMN, in September, just after the 1 year mark of the birth of their daughters. What a cool idea! They are also selling T-shirts for profit in order to raise $ for Breley's Fund. This fund is used to help purchase NICU equipment, as well as materials and support services for families that lose a child. One of the items they were so grateful for after Breley died was a mold of her hands and feet (alongside her twin sister Kailey's molds). They fund purchases this type of material too. My family makes me so gosh darn proud sometimes with their big ideas and bigger actions. 

Would you consider helping to honor the life that Breley fought to live for 2 days? You can use the paypal button to the right to make a donation ($1, $5, $10, $20, whatever!), and all $ will go toward Breley's Fund. If you would like to order a T-shirt, please use the e-mail me link. Prayers are exceedingly welcome! 
The shirt!
Kailey has such mesmerizing eyes...


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