Well, today marks the beginning of the very last step in our adoption journey. Our daughter is FINALLY coming home. I can't wait to begin the next part of our journey as a family under the same roof.
Expectations are such a fickle thing. We have expectations of ourselves, our partners, co-workers, we place expectations on our wedding days, how and when we will start a family, etc. Is it just me, or are expectations usually off the mark? God either blows my mind away, or I set my sights way too high for anyone or anything to perform too? Either way, things rarely go as I expect. When I think back to 16 months+ ago when we officially submitted our adoption application, I remember my head and heart being full of these timelines and mental images of how things will go (mostly, I blame 'gotcha day videos' that only show the lovey dovey parts of adoption...I'm not stupid, but I think I was still duped). Well, I have realized in the last 2 weeks that I have anticipated and expected what it will finally feel like to walk off of the plane in our hometown with our first child. Mostly, I expected we would be exhausted, but blissful.
Well, my expectations were wrong... it just isn't going to go down like that. After 3 trips to the Dr. and feeling worse and worse every day, it was discovered that I have mono. The Dr. was glad to pinpoint what was making me miserable, but felt bad that he could only send me off (knowing we were leaving for Ethiopia) by telling me to rest, get lots of water and pray. His poor nurse had to call me the next day (a Sunday) while I was on my way to the Emergency Room to let me know that I also have pneumonia. Surprise! Plus, I didn't just have any regular old mono. Without using all of the medical jargon, they basically said, I have every mono complication and am going to be feeling rotten for a while.
The poor ER Dr. and nurse, I was a mess... they did a great job re-hydrating me, pumping me full of anti-nausea meds and antibiotics for the pneumonia. There was discussion of admitting me, to which I sobbed and begged no (they relented). Leaving out a few fun details here, but essentially, the decision was made that I wouldn't be making the trip to Ethiopia :(. Let's just call it Mom Fail #1. (I owe my oldest brother for rearranging his schedule last minute and flying out with K... I forgive him all of our childhood squabbles). My mother believes we should be making a movie about these two guys who have never parented a child before, taking custody of a 10 month old girl in a foreign country and then flying 24 hours. We shall see.
Without getting too graphic, according to the one taking care of me, I've made some slight improvements...the only one that I notice is being able to eat a little. I hate to admit it, but the Dr. was right, I wouldn't have hacked the travel to Ethiopia (I can sit up for about 10 minutes...also a slight improvement).
Turns out our Cupcake has recently been admitted to the hospital twice (which makes this all that much harder for me not be going). It sounds like she is doing better (PTL), but I would kind of like to see with my own 2 eyes. Originally, our plan was to wait it out a little for Dr. appointments upon bringing her home (we were hesitant to have one of her first experiences here be getting blood drawn and immunizations), but those are our stupid expectations again. Instead, she will be seen a few days after arriving, we need to make sure we can quickly get the issues resolved.
In short, thanks for the prayers. I'll be posting some pics of her oh-so-adorable face as soon as K takes custody! She turns 10 months old on Saturday...glad her daddy will be there to give her some cuddles! Have I ever mentioned I have the greatest husband in the world? We bicker like the best of them, but let it be known... he is amazing, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't know it or how blessed I am to share my life with him, but he has pulled out all of the stops over the last week +. I love you, K!
6 days ago