"Every child deserves a home." --Harry Holt

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Unequal

Have you ever been in a situation where someone gives you a beautiful and meaningful birthday gift, but you remember that 3 months earlier you remember you gave them a cheeseball birthday card and costume jewelry from Target (which for me are some of my favorite gifts, because I love to see what people pick out for me?. It just feels like you are on unequal footing. You wish you would have given them something more meaningful.

That is the closest way that I can describe our relationship with Cupcake's birthmother. She gave us the gift of parenting Cupcake. We get to receive "snugs" from her every day. We get to laugh when she twirls around until she decides to try and walk a straight line but runs into stuff. We get to watch her walk backwards down our front sidewalk (no idea why she prefers to walk backwards instead of forward). We get to kiss her tears away. We get to read stories, sing songs, say prayers and snuggle her to sleep every night. In return, we pray for Cupcake's mom every night. We try to honor her in loving the daughter we share fiercely. We delight in every silly thing she does, and we know that she and her first mother share the same blindingly beautiful smile and eyes that light up. 

Today is what is known as Birth Mother's Day. We thought of Cupcake's first mom today just as we do every day. We honor her today, tomorrow on Mother's Day and every day after that. 

We decided to send up one of those wishing lanterns into the night sky. It seemed sort of symbolic in the sense that while she is 9,000 miles away, we live under the same sky and love our daughter together. Of course, the symbolism was less whimsical when we were able to see the lantern come down in the nearby farm field, and the husband literally went over there with a fire extinguisher to ensure we didn't accidentally start an uncontrolled burn on someone's farm. Nevertheless, we tried. :::sigh:::

 Happy Mother's Day whether you are a mother, a first mother have children in heaven, have a mother in heaver or are desperately aching to be a mother. It is a beautiful and difficult holiday for so, so many. I personally avoided church and any establishment where children would be on the last couple of mother's days. May you find your joy in the beauty from ashes.

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