Can I Ask You a Question?

I get annoyed when people respond, to that with, "You just did." Yes, yes, I KNOW. I am just terrible at the creating a segue especially into awkward or difficult conversations, and as a school counselor, I talk about a LOT of awkward stuff! So, more accurately, I have a couple of awkward questions.

First, have you ever heard of Birth Mother's Day? I hadn't either until recently. Apparently, this day started gaining momentum in the early 1990's, and continues each year to become more well-known. It is celebrate in May, the Saturday before Mother's Day which is a on a Sunday (May 13th this year, so Birth Mother's Day is May 12th). Here is a bit more information on Birth Mother's Day.

I certainly think Birth Mother's should be celebrated. More accurately, we refer to Cupcake's birth mom as her first mom. Don't gasp, this doesn't make me feel like a lesser person to be the 'second mom.' In fact, it is just math (which I'm terrible at, but I know I have this equation right). First, there was her and now there is me and together, we have one stinkin' amazing kiddo! The only time I get a little peeved is when people ask if Cupcake has a REAL mother. What? Am I imaginary? She has 2 REAL mothers. The only difference is that I am standing in front of you when you ask things like that and will roll my eyes at you and sigh in annoyance, you are welcome (clearly, I'm mature beyond my years). Nerds... I'm already off topic. Again, first mother's/birth mother's should certainly be celebrated, because without them, families like mine certainly wouldn't exist. We had been futilely trying to come up with a way to honor Cupcake's first mother on Mother's Day. We can't call and chat with her, but we wanted to do SOMETHING and start a tradition.

So, my second question is, do you have any ideas on how we can honor Cupcake's first mother? I harassed my cousin who is my fountain of good ideas in unique situations. Her ideas were: writing a note, attaching it to a balloon and having a little balloon release, making handprints to send to her first mother when we send things (in the fall hopefully), or to create a care package for a young mother. All really fantastic ideas. The only one I had come up with previously was to plant a flower, shrub or something and just talk about her while we do it. Who else has an idea? 

Third question, do we have to have a separate day for birth mother's? Shouldn't we honor them on Mother's Day? On one hand, they are special people and do deserve their own day, but on the other hand it almost feels like a "separate but equal" issue and in my mind that phrase does not have a positive connotation. I mean really, is it ever equal? My mind is a cloudy mess trying to figure this out. Give me your opinion, please!? Please??!!