"Every child deserves a home." --Harry Holt

Monday, October 31, 2011

Is It Because We Are a Trans-racial Family?

The last 3+ months have meant a lot of adjustments to us as a family. We added a child, so that would be the biggest adjustment right there. No more last minute dinners out, or randomly deciding to check out a movie in theaters. Basically, it feels as though every outing must be carefully planned. Snacks? Diapers? Stroller? Beco? Sippy cup? Check, check, check, check. 

Not having a child previously, I honestly wasn't sure if much of the attention we now garnered in public were simply because we now had the cutest little girl accompanying us everywhere we went, or if much of that attention was because the adorable little girl's skin color did not match our own, or if it was because she has the type of personality that draws everyone in. Almost all of the reactions we get in public have been positive. Mid-west people are good people, so normally if they have something negative to say, they don't come right out and say it to your face. Generally, they are either passive-agressive or they respectfully say bad things about you when you aren't in earshot. :) The only 'negative' experience I've had was being followed by an elderly lady in Target. At first, I thought she just needed help with something. I asked her multiple times if there was something I could reach for her, etc., but she never responded and then wouldn't make eye contact. She literally followed Cupcake and I from one end of the store to the other, and didn't put a single thing in her cart. She didn't say anything negative or bash my cart with hers, but she just kept staring. After she followed me into the 4th or 5th aisle, I decided it was just creepy. I still don't know though, was it because I am white and my daughter is not, or was she just bored and a little lonely and thought the baby was cute and entertaining while she tried to rip things off the shelves? Whatever, it just kind of unnerved me.

I recently asked 2 friends of mine who also have small children if nearly every elderly person they see in public comes up to talk to them and often touch the baby. They both responded with a resounding, "YES!" So, we can pretty much put that question away. Most of the attention is just because I now have a cute child in tow. 

Today, we had numerous Dr. appointments at the not too far Children's Hospital and Clinics. We are officially caught up on our immunization schedule, HOORAY! The pediatrician that we have been working with was very thorough and wanted to check everything out, so we have been busy running to various appointments to make sure we have all bases covered. We finished up the last of that today, too and are pleased to report, Cupcake is even healthier than we ever imagined, double HOORAY! 

A little story to go along with the blog post title. We were running behind this morning, and the Hospital is about a 35 minute drive. The place is enormous and even though I've been there a handful of times, I always get turned around and lost. We decided that K would get out of the car and grab Cupcake to make us less late, and I would park the car and could take my time figuring out which floor/hallway/office we were supposed to be in. We were also a little concerned because we had a tight window of time in between appointments to leave one and check-in at the next. Ugh! So, I wasn't with K and Cupcake when they checked in at the first appointment. So, this anecdote was told to me in the car on the way home. 

K gave the check-in receptionist all of Cupcake's pertinent information. She asked him several questions, and the last one was, "What is your relationship to the patient?" He said he got a little miffed and answered a bit rudely, "I'm the father." He was thinking in his head, how rude and clueless some people are, and just because he is white and Cupcake isn't doesn't mean that God doesn't create families in the most beautiful way. He didn't utter any of this to the receptionist, because he was born and raised in the mid-west, so he used passive-aggressive in this situation (and obviously we talked about her behind her back in the car on the way home, lol!). In the end, he decided the question had nothing to do with the fact that we are a trans-racial family, because the receptionist asked the very nice Asian woman with the very cute Asian son, "What is your relationship to the patient?" Clearly, we are a little more sensitive than need-be in many of these situations. I cracked up listening to the story. The fact is, we ARE trans-racial. We can't and won't avoid the topic, but I think we need to calm down a bit. So, any other trans-racial families have stories to make us feel a little better about your vigilance on the issue? How about a negative experience you have had? Maybe you should just leave me a comment so I don't think I'm out here talking to myself? 

1 comment:

Lindsay Raye said...

haha! oh linds you never fail to make me giggle. you're not talking to yourself and i LOVE your beautiful little trans-racial family. in fact maybe you should come visit the great midwest... i need to teach that little cupcake how to SHOP! ;)
love you !


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