Loss

We are still strong holding onto our resolve not to find out our "official" numbers on the referral wait list. We had a ballpark estimate that at the end of last week we were sitting around #13. However, an update from our agency has led us to believe that we are probably more like #15 or 16, and really...we are okay with that. 
According to our agency, 3 children who had been referred to families died. We were not given an explanation or further information, other than to say that the families that suffered the unspeakable loss of their children will be placed back at the top of the wait list to accept a referral when they deem they are ready to do so. I cannot fathom the loss and sorrow these families feel. I'm certain they had already memorized every piece of their child(ren) through pictures and were filled with hopes and dreams of bringing them HOME into their families. Our hearts and prayers are with them. 
I keep thinking of my brave little niece, Breley who was born September 3rd and fought it out until September 5th. I'm certain these little kiddos were equally as valiant as my precious niece. That fact does not keep me from asking that awful question of, "Why?" I already know I'm not going to get a satisfactory answer, so I don't know what brings me to keep asking. So, I'll concentrate on these: 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Do not be afraid... for I am with you...declares the Lord." Jeremiah 1:5, 8

"And I know there'll be days/ When this life brings me pain/ But if that's what it takes to praise You/ Jesus, bring the rain." -- Mercy Me 'Bring the Rain'